Log in

No account? Create an account


New Blog


~Addddd Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


So yes. I'm feeling much less emo today and I realize exactly how amazing all the friends i *do* have are.

You guys all rock -hugs forever-



so I realized today that I'm once again where I was 2 years ago... almost completely alone. All my RL friends are either gone or not talking to me for some reason. It makes me sad.

I miss going out and having fun.

As awesome as the friends I do have are... there's a kind of void that being physically alone makes in me... I don't like it. I've been through this before, too. Am I just that hard to be friends with?


Oddly enough I'm not as emo as I have been in the past... Though I *have* found myself to be a lot more dramatic, lately. Or maybe i'm just noticing it more. I really don't know. Sometimes I hate how insecure and self-conscious I've become -sigh-

Courtney's been awesome and tried to get me to go out with her friends, but I just don't want to get into a situation where I'm too good of friends with an employee that when something eventually goes wrong or just she stops working there or whatever I end up taking stupid crap personally or whatever. Being friends with my mom's employees hasn't ended well for me in the last 3 years we've been open and just, yea. I don't want to get through that again. Part-time jobs are just too fleeting.

and i don't even know if any of this is coherent or not, but yea.



Ok, new year and New rants. So that no one has an excuse to scream aty me for no apparent reason, this rant will likely be very offensive to some people. But that's not my problem.

rawr.Collapse )


So my body has decided it hates me and now every single muscle in it has decided to take turns spasming and cramping just to spite me.


T_T ;_; :'(



Egg Nog, so so yummy, but so so so so sooooooooo bad on my lactose-sensitive stomach x.x

-pouts- it's going to be a long winter :(

Some things just aren't meant to be...

Ginny's quitting :( Means I won't see her much at all anymore ;-;

Oh well.... it was a fun summer, at least.

Also, new developments in the Jessica drama...

So I told mom what Katie IMed me, and since mo knows the whole story she was kinda like "Jessica's so manipulative!!!" and of course I already knew this. ANYWAYS, apparently Jessica made her workman's comp claim official, like, got the state involved in it or whatever, so mom got upset and called Katie to vent or something--ended up telling her the whole story apparently. So Katie IMed me while I was at work that night....

Sis:    im sorry i asked you to make up with Jessica. I was wrong. I plan on telling her off since you would feel to guilty if you did so

So now I'm a bit scared of what's to come next. OH THE DRAMA -flails-

When life gets MORE complex

So my sister IMed me.

Sis:    russell?
Sis:    I think you should try to work things out with Jessica. At least try talking to her and see if yall can at least come to some form of neutral standind
Sis:    I doubt that you will be as close as you were before but you can at least be cordial again
Sis:    she wants to try to resolve things but you wont even talk or listen to her. Please try

Now what do I do? :(

OH, and my SAT scores are total crap :(



So I unblocked Jessica on AIM, and deleted her from my buddy list in an effort to move on. I don't trust her anymore. anyways, here's what happened

(her AIM name is removed for her own safety)

[11:48] Jessica: hey
[11:49] Emoxorxnot: hi
[11:49] Jessica: whats up?
[11:49] Emoxorxnot: nothing, just doing school
[11:49] Jessica: fun
[11:49] Jessica: how r things going?
[11:50] Emoxorxnot: fine i guess, I'm just trying to get into college still, so yea
[11:50] Jessica: i heard u liked conn college
[11:52] Emoxorxnot: yea, it's still my top pick, but the odds are against me for getting in
[11:52] Jessica: y?
[11:52] Emoxorxnot: it's a really competitive school, they only accept about 35% of applicants
[11:52] Jessica: study hard! lol
[11:57] Jessica: so did u forget about me last week
[11:57] Emoxorxnot: no
[11:57] Jessica: well i didnt get a phone call...
[12:00] Jessica: ....

I just kinda ignored her at the end, it may seem rude... but I didn't feel like dealing with an attempted guilt trip. Oh, so you guys know, Jessica's birthday was last week. I usually call her on her birthday. I didn't this year. Apparently she's upset because her previously number-one yes-man isn't doing what she wants him to do anymore. Oh what a pity.

I just feel so bad right now -eyeroll-


Wishful Thinking

Is fun, I wonder if i can major in it in College.


or maybe just minor in it.

might elaborate later, I dunno.